I have such a pet peeve about people who can’t correctly use the words “poisonous” and “venomous”. I try not to be an asshole about it, but I can’t help myself.

I’m at a coffee shop and someone was talking about how he had a run in with a poisonous snake, and I asked him where in Japan he’d been. He was confused, and I told him that the only poisonous snake known to us (that is, the only snake that is harmful to you if you ingest it) is the Japanese garter snake. He didn’t like that.

15 hours ago on May 17th, 2013 | J | 0 notes

I haven’t been this active on Tumblr in over a year.

1 day ago on May 16th, 2013 | J | 0 notes
1 day ago on May 16th, 2013 | J | 2,816 notes
1 day ago on May 16th, 2013 | J | 7,852 notes
toolesbiantofunction:

spud-buster:

omg

Everyone do this for me now

Just so my friends are prepared, I’m totally doing this for some of you. I’m starting right now.

toolesbiantofunction:

spud-buster:

omg

Everyone do this for me now

Just so my friends are prepared, I’m totally doing this for some of you. I’m starting right now.

1 day ago on May 16th, 2013 | J | 42,734 notes
6, 18, 25, 43, 88, 107


6. Four turn-offs:
I’ll do two physical and two personality: Hairy backs and stubby fingers, and egoism and ignorance.

18. Do I use sarcasm?:
Oh, no. Never. Nuh uh, that is so not me.

25. Ever done a prank call?:
Okay, so when I was in middle school, it was back when a lot of people still relied on landlines, right? And the school still gave every student one of those directories with every other students’ home number in them. And well, I was a little shit when I was in middle school, and my best friend and I would hole up in her bedroom watching horror movies and we would pick a random number and *67 before calling, and hold the receiver to the TV speaker during a death scene and scare the shit out of the people we were calling. It was great.

43. How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?:
When I actually have to get up and get ready in the morning, it takes me about…ten minutes. Like literally the time between me waking up and me getting out the front door is ten minutes. I’m low-maintenance like that. Or ugly. Some might just say ugly.

88. Bought condoms?:
I’ve never bought condoms. I always told my men “bring your own goddamn condom because I am not wasting any money on you”… Wow, that made me sound really bitchy and whorish. Trust me, though; that is not the worst thing I’ve ever said to a guy I was sleeping with.

107. Been on the computer for five hours straight?:
Yes. Yes, I have. On multiple occasions.

1 day ago on May 16th, 2013 | J | 0 notes

adamhowardcross:

Photographer Jaime Moore‘s daughter Emma recently turned 5 years old. Naturally, being a photographer, Moore wanted to commemorate the event for her daughter by putting together a cute photo shoot for her, so she turned to the Internet for inspiration.

Much to her chagrin, however, something like 95 percent of the ideas she ran into were actually the same idea: how to dress up your 5-year-old as a Disney Princess. Moore wasn’t keen on that, so she went another way. Instead of dressing her daughter up as a made up ideal, an “unrealistic fantasy” as she put it, she chose to dress and pose her daughter as some of the greatest women throughout history.

The point was to convey to little Emma that she could be anything she wants to be. As Moore explains it on her blog


My daughter wasn’t born into royalty, but she was born into a country where she can now vote, become a doctor, a pilot, an astronaut, or even President if she wants and that’s what REALLY matters.”

The resulting photo series has Emma dressed and posed as five influential women from the history books, with a presidential photo thrown in at the end. [x]

1 day ago on May 16th, 2013 | J | 836 notes

No one ever puts stuff in my ask. Break the cycle pleeeeeeeease?

1: Name
2: Age
3: 3 Fears
4: 3 things I love
5: 4 turns on
6: 4 turns off
7: My best friend
8: Sexual orientation
9: My best first date
10: How tall am I
11: What do I miss
12: What time were I born
13: Favourite color
14: Do I have a crush
15: Favourite quote
16: Favourite place
17: Favourite food
18: Do I use sarcasm
19: What am I listening to right now
20: First thing I notice in new person
21: Shoe size
22: Eye color
23: Hair color
24: Favourite style of clothing
25: Ever done a prank call?
27: Meaning behind my URL
28: Favourite movie
29: Favourite song
30: Favourite band
31: How I feel right now
32: Someone I love
33: My current relationship status
34: My relationship with my parents
35: Favourite holiday
36: Tattoos and piercing i have
37: Tattoos and piercing i want
38: The reason I joined Tumblr
39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?
40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?
41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?
42: When did I last hold hands?
43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?
44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?
45: Where am I right now?
46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?
47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?
48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?
49: Am I excited for anything?
50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?
51: How often do I wear a fake smile?
52: When was the last time I hugged someone?
53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?
54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?
55: What is something I disliked about today?
56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
57: What do I think about most?
58: What’s my strangest talent?
59: Do I have any strange phobias?
60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
61: What was the last lie I told?
62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?
63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
64: Do I believe in magic?
65: Do I believe in luck?
66: What’s the weather like right now?
67: What was the last book I’ve read?
68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?
69: Do I have any nicknames?
70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?
71: Do I spend money or save it?
72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge?
73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me?
74: Favourite animal?
75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?
76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?
77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?
78: How can you win my heart?
79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?
80: What is my favorite word?
81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr
82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?
83: Do I have any relatives in jail?
84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?
85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?
86: What is my current desktop picture?
87: Had sex?
88: Bought condoms?
89: Gotten pregnant?
90: Failed a class?
91: Kissed a boy?
92: Kissed a girl?
93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?
94: Had job?
95: Left the house without my wallet?
96: Bullied someone on the internet?
97: Had sex in public?
98: Played on a sports team?
99: Smoked weed?
100: Did drugs?
101: Smoked cigarettes?
102: Drank alcohol?
103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?
104: Been overweight?
105: Been underweight?
106: Been to a wedding?
107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?
108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?
109: Been outside my home country?
110: Gotten my heart broken?
111: Been to a professional sports game?
112: Broken a bone?
113: Cut myself?
114: Been to prom?
115: Been in airplane?
116: Fly by helicopter?
117: What concerts have I been to?
118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?
119: Learned another language?
120: Wore make up?
121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?
122: Had oral sex?
123: Dyed my hair?
124: Voted in a presidential election?
125: Rode in an ambulance?
126: Had a surgery?
127: Met someone famous?
128: Stalked someone on a social network?
129: Peed outside?
130: Been fishing?
131: Helped with charity?
132: Been rejected by a crush?
133: Broken a mirror?
134: What do I want for birthday?
135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?
136: Was I named after anyone?
137: Do I like my handwriting?
138: What was my favourite toy as a child?
139: Favourite Tv Show?
140: Where do I want to live when older?
141: Play any musical instrument?
142: One of my scars, how did I get it?
143: Favourite pizza toping?
144: Am I afraid of the dark?
145: Am I afraid of heights?
146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?
147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?
148: What I’m really bad at
149: What my greatest achievments are
150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me
151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery
152: What do I like about myself
153: My closest Tumblr friend
154: Something I fantasise about
155: Any question you’d like?

1 day ago on May 16th, 2013 | J | 276,167 notes

Am I the only one that peed their pants watching the S.H.I.E.L.D trailer?

2 days ago on May 15th, 2013 | J | 2 notes

I had a DW dream last night that was really like an episode of DW. I was the Doctor’s companion, and we were in the lobby of this building that was supposed to have “great shopping” - that’s why we were there; to take a break from adventuring and shop.

Well, the man was walking through the lobby and he ran full into me and knocked us both over, and I got confrontational with him because he’d ruined…something (I can’t remember what) and I insisted he give me his information so I could get in touch with him so he could pay for a new whatever-it-was. He finally told me, reluctantly, that his name was [I don’t remember] and he worked on the sixth floor and I could find his information there.

But something felt odd about it so I told the Doctor to wait while I went up alone. I got in the elevator, hit 6, but it took me to the 7th floor. A floor entirely dedicated to the sale of umbrellas - there were umbrellas of every size, colour, and style everywhere. And I met a man in a wheelchair, with a long tube stretching from the chair throughout the building, and he told me I was on the 7th floor. The elevator never stopped at the 6th floor. So I found the stairs and I went down to the 6th floor.

The 6th floor was peaceful. It was full of smoke clouds of different sizes and colours and smells and consistencies. And I met this woman in a red shoulder wrap who took me to a place called the Ego Room. They were burning something that made a cloud of pure white smoke that smelled like raspberries and sandalwood. And the other woman in the room put me in a sort of trance and told me that this white cloud would stay in front of my eyes so I wouldn’t be able to see the rest of the world as clearly and I would focus more on myself and recognize that I am the most important person in the world. Basically, she was turning me into an egoist.

Then they let me go and I went back to the lobby, but I couldn’t find the Doctor anywhere. (I’d later found out that the screwdriver was picking up some screwy readings and he’d gone off on his own to inspect them.) So I tried to go back to the 6th floor but, of course, the elevator wouldn’t stop there. Instead, it took me all the way up to the 9th floor - which was also called the 90 Days floor - and everyone there had chosen to die. And they rented these little boxy rooms to spend their last 90 Days in and could create whatever reality they wanted in those boxes. The woman in the red wrap was there too and she said “well, we just keep running into you all over the place, don’t we?” and that’s when she figured out I was with someone, investigating.

I managed to slip away and back to the 6th floor, but she’d warned them I was coming and they were waiting for me. I turned around and saw the Doctor running toward me, and when I turned back the woman that had been in the Ego Room with me blew some sort of powder that knocked me unconscious. I was vaguely aware of fighting around me.

When I finally got my eyes open, the Doctor had dropped this device that we’d found on a previous mission. It was a little box that emitted a pulse that was the alien equivalent to a stun gun. He’d just abandoned it. I saw him carrying a teenager away, leaving me, so I picked up the box and zapped him with it before I passed out again. The next time I woke up, me, the Doctor, and the teenager were safe outside while the whole building burned in the background.

I asked the Doctor why he left me and he looked at me like he was studying me, and told me that no one was bothering me - they weren’t going to hurt me, and the teenager was in more imminent danger. Then I asked why he’d dropped the device and he said it wasn’t his technology and at best he could control the pulse it emitted, but it was also loaded with alien code that could be triggered at anytime and set off an invasion if the original creators of the device ever decided to hone in on it.

Apparently he’d given it a little boost with the sonic and the aliens HAD invaded, just long enough to destroy the building.

….Okay, so maybe it couldn’t be a real DW episode, but it was pretty vivid and awesome to me when I was experiencing it.

5 days ago on May 12th, 2013 | J | 0 notes
The Fine Art Of Falling Apart
My name is Eiri, and there are no laws in my world. Only magic.

Well, magic and overactive libidos.